I did a lot of work with Oracle in the 1980’s, a time when greed, speed, and bravado defined the tech elite in a way that makes today’s unicorns look like toy ponies.
The car to have back then was the Ferrari Testarossa. Literally translated as “Red Head” in Italian. It had a top speed of 180MPH.
There was a popular story often told about how Silicon Valley CEO billionaire Larry Ellison once got three speeding tickets in his Testarossa on three consecutive days from the same police officer. On the third day he pulled into Oracle parking lot with the officer pursuing him. Ellison had called ahead to have Oracle’s general council Ray Ocampo at the ready, waiting curbside, to smooth things over with the police.
Chances are you’re not so lucky to be able to do that when things get out of hand in your Ford Fusion.
Yet, whether it’s a Testarossa or a Prius we’ve all been there, that moment when you see the blue lights flashing in your rear view mirror and realize that they’re meant just for you!
As you sit there on the side of the road, waiting for the moment of truth, what’s goes through your mind? Most likely you’re trying to come up with a really really great excuse.
Of course, you had a good reason to be speeding. You were trying to keep pace with traffic. You’re late for a doctor’s appointment. Your flight leaves in 30 minutes and you’re still 25 minutes from the airport.
“…perhaps we should apply this tactic to many other parts of our lives where we are tempted to come up with all sorts of elaborate excuses for our behavior when the bottom line is that we are simply wrong and need to be ok with it if we expect others to be ok with us.”
So, should you play dumb in an attempt to plead ignorance? “Really officer, I was speeding?” Or perhaps you should go toe to toe, ” Officer are you sure that radar gun is correctly calibrated?” Or maybe you should you come up with a really good zinger of an excuse, “Officer, I had no idea I was driving over the speed limit! A bee just flew into my car and I was momentarily distracted.” Then again, perhaps you should just be tacitly compliant, not say a thing, hand over your license and registration and hope for the best.
According to Chris Voss, the FBI’s former chief international hostage negotiator, the right thing to do is none of the above. In fact his advice is likely to be the last thing you’d think of doing.
Voss is a fascinating individual. Reading his book on negotiation Never Split The Difference and listening to his interviews and keynotes you can’t help but be wowed by his authority on the subject of negotiation. So, if anyone can get out of a ticket you’d think he could. But I have to admit, his advice on how to do it, although brilliant, can be hard to pull off.
Officer I’m An Idiot
Here’s what Chris suggests:
The officer will probably say one of two things, “Do you Know Why I stopped you?” or “License and registration please.”
In the first case the officer is looking for a confession, yet everyone tries to make excuses or argue. Instead, says Voss, Look him or her straight in the eyes and say this, “I’m an asshole.” Yes, that was my reaction too, Wow! And that’s exactly the reaction you’re going for. Since you’ve just totally come clean and admitted your error–far beyond anything the officer could have imagined–there is no reason for him or her to further punish you.
In the second case, where you’re asked for your license and registration, Voss advises that you again look at the officer and say, “I’m so glad to see you, I need your help!” and then ask the officer for directions to anywhere. According to Voss, police officers want to help, they’re in this to rescue people, and by saying you need their help you put them into rescuer mode.
When I heard Voss talk about his approach I started thinking about my own experiences. I’ve been pulled over on a number of occasions. Once even for going too slow! Yet, I’ve never once been ticketed. After listening to Voss it made sense why. Although I’ve never used his exact advice, tempted though I might be to try it next time, I have always been completely upfront when asked if I knew why I was pulled over. No excuses, no argument, just a straight forward mea culpa without embellishment. Since hearing Voss’ advice I’ve polled a number of friends to ask them how they’ve handled these situations and without fail the ones who immediately took responsibility rather than try to make excuses were the ones who were not ticketed.
In fact one friend told me of how she was pulled over once for speeding with her young son in the back seat. When the officer asked her if she knew why he pulled her over not only did she tell him right away that it was because she was speeding, but she also told the officer what the speed limit was, how far above it she was going, that she had no excuse for breaking the law, and that he was perfectly justified in pulling her over. With a dumbfounded look the officer walked over to his cruiser. When he came back to her car he said, “Ma’am you were honest with me, which almost nobody is. So, I’m not going to give you a ticket,” And then, looking at her son in the back seat he said, “Let this be a lesson to you young man, being honest is the right thing to do.”
Perhaps we should apply this tactic to so many other parts of our lives where we are tempted to come up with all sorts of elaborate excuses for our behavior when the bottom line is that we are simply wrong and need to be ok with it if we expect others to be ok with us. What an innovative idea, right?
By the way, just to be clear, I’m not suggesting that armed with this advice you suddenly have a license to drive recklessly and with abandon–like a billionaire–but coming clean and taking ownership for your mistakes, or lapse of good judgment, is likely a very good idea, on the road or off.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.