I Was Hired as a Change Agent – But I’m Losing Management Support

Editor’s note: Inc.com columnist Alison Green answers questions about workplace and management issues — everything from how to deal with a micromanaging boss to how to talk to someone on your team about body odor.

Here’s a roundup of answers to five questions from readers.

1. I was hired as a change agent — and now my company is backtracking

I was recently hired as a change agent designed to bring a new skill set into a well-established department. My manager identified several areas for performance improvements during the interview process. I’ve made an effort to learn about those areas and be delicate when making suggestions or asking questions.

However, it seems that my manager has changed her mind because the team doesn’t want to change anything or learn anything new. She’s no longer open to these things that were said to be necessary. Most of the team has been here for 20 or 30 years and usually rejects my expertise. The response is always “We’ve always done it this way.”

This responsibility is half of my new job and I’m not sure how to proceed without any buy-in.

Being a new person charged with making change is close to impossible to do if you don’t have the full and visible backing of your management. Your manager has to have your back here — has to be willing to show your team that she’s on board with the changes you’re trying to make and to back that up with action if you encounter chronic resistance.

Sure, there are things you can do around the edges — shrinking the change into smaller chunks, showing your coworkers how it will benefit them, getting one person on board and then showing others’ their success, etc. — but ultimately you need your manager behind you.

Since she’s backtracked, you need to find out why. Does she just fold in the face of opposition? (If so, this is not a good sign for your prospects there.) Or does she have concerns about the approach you’ve been using? (If so, you want to hear more about those and see if you can use her insights to modify the way you’re doing this.) But I’d be very, very wary about what you’re seeing from her.

2. The title I was offered isn’t the job I applied for

I recently had an interview for an HR manager position. On Monday, I was delighted to be offered the job but I received the offer letter today and the job title was HR officer. I don’t want to sound pompous by questioning such a petty thing, but the role was always referred to / advertised as HR manager in various correspondence, and the responsibilities that go with the position would most definitely be synonymous with a managerial role. How can I go about contacting the recruitment manager regarding this, and do I have any legal rights?

There’s no legal obligation for them to offer you the title that they advertised, but I’d start out by assuming that this was a mistake. Contact whoever sent you the offer and say, “I noticed the offer letter says HR officer, but I think it was meant to say HR manager.”

It’s likely that they’ll tell you it was an error and simply correct it. If not, and they tell you that this is the title they’re offering you, it’s reasonable to ask what the difference is between the two positions and why it changed from what you applied for.

3. How should I handle a couples dinner with someone who has offered my husband a job?

My husband loves his job, but has been sought after from another company for years now, and recently they offered him a job he “cannot refuse.” He has considered taking the job, and they have asked my husband and me to dinner this Friday. It isn’t an interview; the job is in the bag if he wants it. The dinner is with the boss and his wife, and my husband and me.

What questions should I ask? If he asks me questions like “what are your fears?” in regards to my husband switching jobs, should I be brutally honest?

My husband and I are totally on the fence with the decision. He has a good thing where he is now. But we see potential and a substantial pay raise if he moves. There are pros and cons on both sides. I want the option to stay open for him and I don’t want this door to close because of me.

Since your husband is the job candidate, he should make the call on this. How does he want you to play it — being candid about your concerns, or being more circumspect?

Personally, I’d be inclined to rely on responses like “I support Bob in whatever decision he makes” while agreeing in a general sense that it sounds like a great opportunity, but this is his job prospect and thus he should be the one calling the shots on this dinner.

Presumably you’d want him to do the same thing and defer to your preferences if he were meeting your prospective boss.

4. Do I have to disclose to interviewers that I’m thinking about grad school?

I’m in the process of applying to master’s programs that will take two years to complete. The program that I would most like to attend is located in my current city, and there’s a possibility that I could go to school and work full-time if I am admitted. I’ve also considered deferring if I can land a job in my field and get more experience before going to grad school. Obviously nothing’s nailed down yet.

What are the ethical considerations for this situation? If the interviewer asks me where I see myself in a couple years, it feels dishonest to not mention grad school. However, I feel that if I disclose that I might leave the job after 7 months or so, I’d rightfully be out of the running. But, like I said, it’s not a guarantee that I will leave after such a short period. What do you recommend?

If you were absolutely sure that you would be attending grad school in seven months, I agree with you that it would be unethical not to mention it. However, you don’t have solid plans at this point — you’re considering options, and it sounds like if you landed in a job that gave you useful experience, you’d stay in it for at least a couple of years.

In light of that, this is similar to how you wouldn’t need to disclose to an interviewer that you and your partner would love to move to Alaska in a couple of years. You might, you might not, and it will depend heavily on how a number of factors go, including the job you’re interviewing for.

So no, as long as you’re not sure what you plan to do, you’re not obligated to disclose it.

That said, I’d listen to what they say about the type of tenure they want the person they hire to have. If you hear that people don’t start making an impact in the position until the second year, for instance, you’d want to factor that into your decisions (which would mean not taking that job unless you were willing to go into it planning on staying a while).

5. What’s the etiquette of asking to extend interview travel?

I recently had a phone interview for a job across the country, and at the end, the interviewer mentioned he’d be asking HR to get in touch with me to arrange for an in-person interview. Assuming they pay for the travel, would it be acceptable to ask them to schedule flights so that I’m in the city for a few days extra, say for a weekend? (I’d arrange for my own accommodation and other expenses for any extra nights, of course.)

On one hand, it makes sense to me that they’d want me to have a chance to check out some of the city before taking a job that requires moving – for example, the interviewer gave me a list of reasons he loves the city. On the other, I certainly don’t want to come across like I’m asking them to fund my vacation! So – is this a done thing or a total no-no? If it matters, I’m young, single, and in an industry where it’s fairly common to move for work.

Yes, this is definitely done. You’d make it clear that you’d pay for any additional costs that it might add, of course, and framing it as wanting to get a sense of the city makes it clear that you’re not just looking for a free vacation.

Usually people just say something like, “I’d like to take the chance to check out the city while I’m there since this would be a move for me. Could we book the return flight for Monday instead of Friday? I’ll handle my own accommodation for the extra nights, of course.”

Want to submit a question of your own? Send it to alison@askamanager.org.