A client of mine is famous. Not industry famous. Not Internet famous. Famous famous, in that way that when people see him, even if they don’t know what he does or why he’s a celebrity, immediately recognize him as somebody.
He tries to blend in, but it doesn’t work. He is who he is, so people want to meet him.
And when they approach him, here’s they do, almost without fail:
- They take a step forward.
- They make eye contact.
- They reach to shake hands in an eager and excited way.
- They bow their heads slightly, as if to nonverbally say, “I am honored to meet you.”
- They hold the handshake for an extra beat, almost as if they’re reluctant to let go.
- They say things like, “It’s so great to meet you.”
- They smile: big, broad, genuine smiles.
- And they keep smiling, and keep making eye contact — because clearly they feel it’s awesome to meet him.
It’s pretty cool to watch.
And it makes me think.
What if we did the same thing every time we meet someone new? What if we didn’t worry about comparative levels of status, didn’t worry about whether we’re wearing our emotions on our sleeves, didn’t worry about making ourselves vulnerable by possibly coming across as a little too sincere or a little too happy?
What if you treat every person you meet with the same enthusiasm you would show if you met one of your heroes?
Most importantly, how would the other person feel if you treated them that way?
That answer to the last question is simple. You would not only make a great first impression but also a lasting impression. After all:
- We tend to like people who like us, and
- We tend to think well of people who think well of us, and
- We tend to remember the people who think meeting us is something they will remember.
Of course I’m not saying it will be easy. I should know. It definitely isn’t easy for me. I’m fairly shy. Confidence is situational, and there are plenty of situations where I’m definitely not confident. Sure, I shake hands and make eye contact, but I know I don’t come across as well as I could.
Sadly, my shyness can even make me seem aloof, remote, or detached.
That is not my intention — but I know it’s the impression I sometimes make. When I do, the effect on the people I meet is far from great.
Then I think about the time I met Hugh Jackman. I was thrilled. I forgot all about feeling shy or insecure. (After all: Wolverine!) I didn’t think about coming across too excited or too, well, anything. Just like the people who meet my famous client, I was just glad to meet him.
And I let it show.
Now, whenever I meet someone new, I try to mentally flash back to that moment. I know I can turn loose my inhibitions and be engaging and sincere and genuinely interested. I’ve done it before.
All I have to do is treat every person I meet as someone I’m genuinely delighted to meet, someone I’m genuinely honored to meet… because they should be.
Try it. Imagine that each person you meet could turn out to be your biggest customer, your most important connection, or a great friend.
Then treat them that way, right from the start.
When you do, the odds are much greater they will turn out to be exactly what you imagine they could be.
Even if they don’t, you will still have made another person feel valued and special — and making people feel valued and special is reason enough.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.