The world is full of dreamers. Plenty of people spend lots of time and money reading business and branding books or signing up to attend motivational seminars.
But let’s be honest: Even while these books, seminars and articles may contain useful information, many people put in the effort to “get motivated” and don’t find the success they want.
That’s because–well, to put bluntly–they turn others off. If you’re doing “everything right” and still not getting where it is you want to go, you may want to consider how you’re coming across to others.
Today, I’m sharing five ways to immediately polish your presence:
1. Carry yourself with grace.
What does this mean? Let’s look at three dictionary definitions of the word for a clue:
- Smoothness and elegance of movement.
- Courteous good will.
- Bring honor or credit to (someone or something) by one’s attendance or participation.
We live in a world that has become polluted with low grade narcissism, where it seems downright dated to walk around with a quiet pride. Do it anyway.
The trumpet blowers with the brash and aggressive opinions and those who call for a cheerleading squad every time they make a move may get the attention, but those who walk and work with dignity, accountability and dedication get the respect.
2. Respect those around you.
This may sound the same as point No. 1, but it’s actually an extension of it. Respecting others makes room for the appreciation of their presence, wisdom and right to be a human being making mistakes and learning lessons at their own pace.
It shows that you recognize where you end and they begin. Remember this when you’re in a position of power and when you’re faced with a person who is testing your patience.
Showing respect doesn’t mean that you approve of every behavior or agree with every statement. It simply means that you don’t allow your ego (or theirs) to strip your dignity away.
3. Rock those details.
I don’t care how smart, skilled or charming you are–if you look, write, speak, or follow-up like a slob, you’re going to turn people off. Take some time to think about your personal brand.
What message are your clothes sending? How do your emails and texts read? Do you sound confident or timid when you speak? Are your sentences clear or stuffed with filler words? How do you greet and follow-up with people?
The more you think about the way people experience interactions with you (from start to finish), the more control you will have over your reputation, relationships and career.
4. Don’t assume others “have it easy.”
I once found myself texting with an athlete who was “annoyed and bored” at the SNL studio where he was hosting. The night before, we’d gone out and dozens of people approached him with a look of total adoration in their eyes.
He was clearly appreciative of his status as a revered athlete–it seemed glamorous. Later that night, he told me about some issues he was having in his personal life that could have been voiced by anyone else in my social circle.
The lesson I learned was that it was easy to glorify those who “make it” and assume that their lives are smoother, more fun and less stressful simply because they have achieved certain wins we ache to experience. We’re all working hard every day to achieve or maintain accomplishments that are meaningful (or lucrative) for us.
5. Deal with life like a boss.
Even when you don’t sweat the small stuff, life isn’t always going to be a smooth ride. How you deal while on the bumpier parts of that ride will impact everything from your health and wellbeing to your reputation and your relationships with those around you.
Plan ahead, stay flexible, and never lose your grit. Be willing to jump in and do what needs to be done to move things into a better direction and do your best to keep the tone low and steady, the gaze on the prize and know that the only thing hitting that red panic button will do is shut everything down.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.